Mr and Mrs Brownale knew their baby was special and so did the aliens. It was only Mrs Brownale’s obsession with fruit that kept little Doctor safe until he became more of a threat to the aliens than they were to him.

He was blessed with a number of peculiar physical abnormailities that apparently made him more of a match for our otherworldly foes. His skull was twice as thick as that of the average man, his body was inexplicably dense, he could turn his hearing off at will, his arse muscles were 7.5 times as strong as that of the average man, he could live off substances of little nutritional value and some other things as well.

Doctor’s formative years were uneventful apart from the repeated abduction attempts. He repelled these with an assured and calculated aggression way beyond his years. Unfortunately, Mr and Mrs Brownale were not similarly blessed and the foul invaders took out their frustrations on them in a most vile and sickening way. In a revenge attack Doctor Brownale uncharacteristically let his guard down in the heat of battle and paid with an eyeball. He may have subsequently retrieved this.

Making it to university on a technicality, Doctor learned how to party and also picked up the skills that would allow him to pursue his destiny on a full time basis. Inventing something quite obscure, but very useful, he was guaranteed very little credit and a steady income.

Working from his base in Hartlepool, Doctor Brownale fights a tireless fight against those who would seek to enslave us and pillage our glorious earth. Assisted by a seagull and a very select band of committed men and women he stands like a breakwater against a tide of space filth.

He is our first, our last, our only hope.